Better to bloom late than never

I’m going to write a book. I am writing a book. I have a million book ideas. So why can’t I get any traction with them?

As many of you know, one of my hobbies is doing historical reenactments of the Texas Revolution. I got into the hobby because I wanted to write a book about Texas Revolution reenactors. I’ve been working on it for 10 years now. It’s become a running joke whenever I show up at a reenactment for someone to ask me how my book is coming along.

What no one else knows is that I have another book I’ve been wanting to write since 1986, nearly 40 years. That one is about my experiences on staff at a Boy Scout camp. In the interim I have started and stopped writing books about Star Trek, The Lone Ranger, and a compilation of some of my columns from the past 30 years. I have a few other ideas bouncing around in my head, but nothing scribbled out on paper yet.

With the passing of my 60th birthday in August, I’ve come to accept that when I finally do become a published author that I will officially join an elite group of late bloomers. Maybe we’re better described as chronic procrastinators. Either way I’m in good company.

Col. Harland Sanders was 62 when he started Kentucky Fried Chicken. Laura Ingalls Wilder was in her 60s when she started writing the Little House books. Ray Kroc was in his 50s when he co-founded McDonalds. Anna Mary Robertson Moses, aka Grandma Moses, was 78 when she started painting. Peter Mark Roget was in his 70s when he published his famous thesaurus. Harry Bernstein wrote “The Invisible Wall” at 96 and went on to write three more books, the last one at 100.

Joseph A. Campbell was 52 when he started a canning company and 78 when he first canned soup. Miguel de Cervantes wrote “Don Quixote” at age 58. John Pemberton was 55 when he created the formula for Coca-Cola. Fauja Singh started running marathons at 89 and was killed in a hit-and-run accident earlier this year at the age of 114. “Star Trek” actor William Shatner was 90 when he became the oldest person to go to space in 2021.

In February, we celebrated Sports Editor Robert “Cease” Cessna’s 50th anniversary at The Eagle, and he is still going strong. A year ago, my father celebrated his 80th birthday by doing a tandem skydive. If you think that’s impressive, his mother-in-law joined him to celebrate her 94th birthday!

The point is, you’re never too old to learn new things, have new experiences or to impact the world in marvelous ways. That’s not an indictment of youth, but rather motivation and inspiration for those of us flirting with retirement age. No, I’m not courting retirement, I’m just getting closer to that age. I still have a lot of years and work ahead of me.

Sandy and I moved to Brazos County two years ago and started a hobby farm on our little plot of land. It has taken an enormous amount of work, but we are now raising chickens, ducks, rabbits and a goose we named Duckie. We’ve made numerous attempts at gardening with little to show for it. Still, we soldier on, putting in the work and praying for success.

Doing all that work on the farm is part of my excuse for not finishing any of my books. By the time I get home from a long day at work and do chores, it’s late and my mind is mush. At the same time, I can’t help but notice that my friend and former colleague, Gary Cosby Jr., who is a photojournalist with the Tuskaloosa News, has written and published 21 novels in his Will Danger adventure series in his spare time since 2022. Gary is about my age and how he manages to crank out books at such a frenetic pace is beyond me.

One of the things that keeps motivating me is the quote by Oliver Wendall Holmes that says, “Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it time runs out.”

I have a lot of “music” in me that’s just bursting to get out. Rather than disciplining myself to sit down and write each night, I get distracted by things of urgency or lesser importance. Let’s call that procrastination. If I spent half the time I waste scrolling through Facebook working on my books, I’d probably have written two or three books by now.

In hindsight, it’s obvious what I need to do to achieve my goals: Buy more chickens!

The Elvis beat lives on

 It was an overcast, rainy day on Aug. 16, 1977, in Longmont, Colorado, and I was browsing through racks of records at the Record City record store at the Horizon Park Mall when news broke on the radio station they were playing about the death of Elvis Presley.

It was shocking but I really didn’t care. At the time I wasn’t much of an Elvis fan. Yet I couldn’t help but notice the sudden migration of shoppers to the rack with his albums. Radio stations played his music and television stations ran special coverage ad nauseam.

I was 12 years old when Elvis cacked on his crapper. At the time I was enamored with “Star Wars” and preferred listening to the likes of Waylon Jennings, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, etc. I did like some of Evis’s songs, but mostly I thought they were corny. He was a buffoon in those glitzy jumpsuits, albeit a really cool looking buffoon.

There was no way at the time that I could remotely imagine that I would become a fan and write so much about him. His music grew on me over the years and even the corny stuff about hound dogs, catching rabbits and blue suede shoes became kind of retro cool.

The first time I wrote about the King of Rock ’n’ Roll was in 1992 when the U.S. Postal Service held a contest to vote for a likeness for a postage stamp. You could choose between the young Elvis in the leather jacket or the old Elvis in the jumpsuit.

I was working in Elizabeth City, North Carolina, at the time and two guys at the local post office dressed up as versions of each. The young Elvis won the nationwide contest, and the stamp made its debut on Jan. 8, 1993.

The next time I wrote about Elvis was in 2007, the 30th anniversary of his death, while I was working in Amarillo. A local woman recalled the story of how she kissed the King not once, but on two occasions. Not long after that I wrote a story about an Elvis impersonator (or tribute artist, as they prefer to be called). He was good and was gearing up to enter a statewide Elvis tribute contest. He didn’t win.

A few years ago while I was working in Sealy, the chamber of commerce held its annual banquet with an Elvis impersonator as the night’s entertainment. He was awful! The event was fun and I got a good story out of him, but he just couldn’t sing worth squat.

In 2022 I wrote a column for the Wharton newspaper about seeing “Elvis,” the movie starring Austin Butler as Elvis and Tom Hanks as Col. Tom Parker. Sandy and I went to see it in the theater and really loved it. Both men shined in their performances.

Fast-forward to yesterday’s paper and I wrote a feature story about the 70th anniversary of Elvis’s concert in College Station at the G. Rollie White Coliseum. I interviewed Ernie Fulton of Franklin for the story. He is the only person alive who attended the show that I could contact. He was very kind and gracious and had good memories of the event. I enjoyed getting to meet him, his wife and their three daughters.

Now, here I am again writing about Elvis. As I’ve been focusing my attention on Elvis this week I’ve been listening to a lot of his music. I have about a dozen favorites on my iPhone. I suppose I’m heading for an Elvis Presley burnout, but not yet.

I know I have written other things about Elvis over the years, but these are the stories that stand out in my mind. Sometimes it feels like I’ve become an Elvis beat writer and he’s been dead 48 years.

I was in Memphis in 2008 to participate in the Memphis Film Festival where we were celebrating the anniversaries of The Lone Ranger and Superman. While I was there, I wanted to tour Graceland. Once I saw the admission price, I decided I had better things to do with my time. I think general admission was $50, which is outrageous. Still, touring Graceland remains a tiny drop on my bucket list. Maybe the next time I’m in town I’ll check it out.

In the meantime, I think I might cue up “Elvis” on TV and get my fix that way. After that, I’ll give him a rest and wait for the next comeback opportunity to write about him again. The 50th anniversary of his death is in two years. Who knows, maybe it will be an overcast, rainy day and I can pull out some Elvis records and relive a moment forever frozen in time from my childhood.

Wonky words of a wordsmith

 

If you ever think English is not a weird language, just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Thank you, Facebook, for that. But wait, there’s more:

I love waterlemons.

You that read wrong.

You read that wrong, too.

After 38 years as a professional journalist, I’ve come to appreciate the linguistic gymnastics of the English language. In journalism school we were taught to use the KISS principle – keep it simple, stupid. In other words, don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.

You have to appreciate the irony of English. For example, “phonetic” is not. “Abbreviation” has 12 letters. “Monosyllabic” has five syllables. There is no synonym for “thesaurus.” The word “little” is twice the size of “big.” Have you ever noticed that the two o’s in “cooperate” have their own separate sounds? And which letter, the “S” or the “C,” is silent in “scent.”

Another thing I’ve noticed is the unusual number of four-letter words used to describe excrement: Poop, crap, dung, pile, skat, and, of course, that other word that shall not be named. Should you need to expel excrement, it is said that you are taking a dump. After you take a dump, you can pile that skat on the dung heap and not give a crap about that poop anymore.

There is a late comedian who, among other things, was noted for making fun of the English language. He went by his last name of Gallagher, and he was best known for smashing fruits and vegetables with a large wooden mallet he called the Sledge-O-Matic. To me, the best part of his schtick was the way he poked fun at the spelling and pronunciation of certain words. Among them are bomb, tomb, comb, home, some, numb and dumb. They’re not so funny in print. You really need to watch one of his videos to see the snarky, sarcastic (snarkastic?) way he presents it.

You then need to watch him smash things with the Sledge-O-Matic, especially the waterlemons!

When I was a student, I struggled with the rules of grammar. They say “I” comes before “E” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird!

I also struggle with words that sound the same or have similar spellings. I have mixed up paltry and psaltery, disperse and disburse, aisle and isle, affect and effect, advice and advise, cite and site, counselor and councilor, principle and principal, and so on. And don’t lie, I know you have, too!

Something I do enjoy is a good pun, or as they have come to be known, dad jokes.

I have a pet tree. It’s a lot like a pet dog but the bark is much quieter.

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.

Argentina is surprisingly cold. In fact, it’s bordering on Chile.

I have to confess to plagiarizing liberally from Facebook memes to write this week’s column. Simply said, I’m just not that smart or witty. The following sentence, however, is my own creation, bombastically summoned from yet more memes. (Hint: you might want to have a dictionary or thesaurus nearby.)

The nefarious, narcissistic snollygoster, who is truculent in his apocryphal perspective of scientific fact, is obdurate in his deleterious and execrable actions and has ineffably bamboozled the obsequiously sycophantic gudgeons and lickspittles of his own party and much of the country to acquiesce unquestioningly to his incorrigible and reprehensible mandates.

As I conclude my wordy prose, I shall reread what I wrote to make sure I am content with the content, least I wind up this post and throw it in the wind.

Life hacks and hackers

 

It’s amazing how easily we can complicate our lives. Technology developed to ease our labors have only fueled us to do more … and less. The more connected we become the more disconnected we find ourselves. The stress can be overwhelming.

Most of my childhood was spent in the 1970s. It was a groovy time to be alive. The most complicated things I owned were my bicycle and a radio. Those two things and a fishing pole gave me endless hours of entertainment. Kids today would be bored stiff with those items. They just don’t have the attention span to focus on something – or nothing – for hours on end. Honestly, thanks to technology I don’t think I have much of an attention span anymore.

Like most people, our lives have become so complicated that the thought of doing nothing is countercultural. Actually doing nothing can cause feelings of guilt or anxiety. Even while relaxing in front of the TV I find myself pulling out my iPhone and thumbing through apps.

Back in the ’70s I picked up a love of reading. I read books constantly in my down time. I even made time to read. Textbooks, not so much. But a Clive Cussler thriller or a book tied to a movie, you bet! In 2008 I had a change of employment that gave me an hour-long commute in each direction. I started listening to audiobooks on my commute to pass the time and never looked back.

I probably listen to 20-30 books a year. I try to read at least three to four physical books a year, but mostly I listen to them.

The late Zig Ziglar called this Dashboard University. I know that because I listened to many of his books. Most more than once. He said you could get the equivalent of a college degree or even a Ph.D. just by listening to books in your car. I agree. I’ve listened to many self-help books from many authors and have picked up a few tips along the way.

One of my first observations is how counterintuitive the best advice seems to be.

Take this quote from Ziglar for example: “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” It doesn’t seem right that the best way to get ahead is to put others first, but it’s true. The more time and energy you give to others comes back to you in generous portions.

One of my favorite contrarians is author and podcaster Daniel Pink. He often couches his advice in ways that seem contrary to the norms. He recently had a podcast about how the best way to do more is to do less. Pink explained that by taking on fewer tasks and projects you can focus your energy on making the ones you do better and more significant. Another of his podcasts, or Pinkcasts as he calls them, said the best way to get more energy is to get more sleep. Your mind and body need rest to function better.

Another noted author and speaker who offers solid countercultural advice is Dave Ramsey. I had an opportunity to interview him several years ago and Sandy and I attended one of his conferences. He is a personal finance guru noted for helping people get out of debt and grow wealth. In a world where debt is the norm, he encourages people to be abnormal and to live below their means. “You need to live like no one else so later you can live and give like no one else,” he said.

His philosophy is to live on less than you make, pay off all your debts, save money and then be generous with your wealth.

Although generosity and selfless service are essential to a good life, taking care of yourself is equally important. You can’t help others if you’re messed up. I’ve read and listened to a lot of books about diet and health. From dozens of books by doctors and researchers coming from different perspectives, I’ve learned a few things about caring for yourself.

In no particular order, these are the essentials: get plenty of rest, exercise daily, drink water, and eat whole, natural foods. Turn off all of your screens at least 30 minutes before going to bed. Sleep eight to 10 hours a night. Get about 30 minutes of exercise a day, even if it’s just going for a walk.

Eliminate all soft drinks. Limit yourself to water, tea, black coffee, or an occasional wine or beer (something fermented). Eat only whole, organic foods. Avoid processed foods. The three things in the modern American diet that are causing the most health problems are wheat, sugar and high-fructose corn syrup.

The stuff that passes for wheat flour today is not the same thing we had prior to World War II. It has become so hybridized, modified and loaded with additives that it is actually very bad for you. The same for sugar. It has been highly processed and is reportedly more addictive than cocaine. High-fructose corn syrup is a cheap sweetener with links to obesity, liver problems, and type 2 diabetes, to name a few.

To summarize these ramblings, the main things to improve your life are to slow down, get rest, minimize screen time, live within your means, practice healthy habits and be generous.

Of all the self-help gurus I’ve read, none is more important than Jesus. I’ve read his book more than a dozen times. His messages of love, forgiveness and self-sacrifice are timeless, true and stand above everything else. I highly recommend it.

Prevent suicide by overcoming stigmas

 

No one else knew. There’s no way they could know. I hadn’t told anyone.

As I sat in the courtroom covering the regular meeting of the Brazos County Commissioners Court on Tuesday, Aug. 26, my heart was breaking. While the commissioners were presenting a proclamation about September being Suicide Awareness Month, it was all I could do to choke back tears and keep a straight face. That day would have been my middle brother’s 59th birthday.

I should have been texting or calling him back in Colorado to wish him a happy birthday. Instead, I was reminded of how he ended his life with a single gunshot four years earlier.

It was Jan. 1, 2021. Don was about to be evicted from his home. My youngest brother showed up that morning to help him move. He rang the doorbell and heard the gun go off. In an instant, our lives changed forever. Don’s final message to the world was a three-word note that said, “cremate this body.”

Don is a classic case for suicide awareness. He was a Navy veteran and had mental health issues in addition to other health problems. It is estimated that 17.6 military veterans take their lives every day. Don suffered from self-imposed loneliness, which is a leading factor in suicide. In hindsight, we should have seen it coming. We just didn’t want to believe that he had reached that point.

My dad, brother and I did what we could to reach out to him. He was a recluse and frequently cut off communication with the family for long periods of time. My brother took Don in for a while to help get him cleaned up, find a job and get back on his feet. It was all for naught. As soon as he returned home Don quit his job and quit talking to the family.

I tried from afar to get him connected to various social services and nonprofit agencies. We’d get him set up and then he would no-show.

We spent years trying to work with him, but it was like moving one step forward and two steps back. In the end, his passing, although very painful, was also a relief. There is a lot of stress and heartache that goes on when you try to help a loved one who rebuffs your efforts. I don’t think we’ll ever understand why we couldn’t get through to him.

When someone close to you takes their life, you can’t help but take it personally. You automatically ask yourself why you didn’t see this coming. What could I have done to prevent this? What were the warning signs? Blaming yourself is a natural part of the grief process. The bottom line is it is not your fault.

There are many cases such as cyberbullying where someone pushes a person to the brink of suicide, and in those cases the bully does bear responsibility. The ultimate decision to end one’s life, however, remains in the hands of the deceased.

One of the main reasons I’m sharing Don’s story is to help overcome the stigma of talking about suicide. As a journalist I’ve always been taught that we don’t report on deaths if it is a suicide out of concern that it might somehow glorify suicide or encourage copycat behavior. The truth is, we do need to talk about it. It’s a conversation we can’t have unless we address mental health issues as well.

I know this from personal experience. Years ago, I suffered from chronic depression. I had bouts where I no longer wanted to live. I wasn’t prepared to kill myself, but I just didn’t feel like living anymore. Each time I went to those dark places in my mind, I received help. I thank God that I have a loving family and supportive church family to watch out for me. I had a mental illness. I got treatment and today I am thriving. There is help and hope.

We must all learn to watch out for each other. We need to overcome the taboos and stigmas of talking about mental health and suicide. There was once a time when it was socially unacceptable to talk about things like cancer and alcoholism. Where did that get us?

It’s by opening up and engaging in conversation and sharing our experiences that we learn how to overcome problems and heal. Having a mental health problem is no different than any other medical condition. The brain is an organ, just like any other part of the body. When it gets sick, it needs treatment.

I encourage you to take advantage of September as Suicide Awareness Month to learn about the causes and how you can spot symptoms in your friends and colleagues. Together we can make a difference and save lives.

Fall means it's time for football follies

 

This is the weekend that football fans have been longing for and football widows have been dreading for months.

High school, college and professional football have officially kicked off (preseason doesn’t count). It also marks the start of fantasy football, which is a beast all its own.

In 2001, my former college roommate, Terry Barber, invited me to join this new thing called fantasy football. I had never heard of it before, but I always enjoyed kicking his butt in a board game called Bowl Bound by Avalon Hill, so I figured it would be a good way to reconnect and continue the smackdown.

The Barber League is a Yahoo league, and it largely consisted of Terry, his brother Dan, and a bunch of Terry’s friends. A couple of years into it my wife Sandy joined, as did Dan’s son Charlie. Several people have come and gone over time, but a core of about five or six have stuck together for the last 24 years.

We don’t play for money, which is a good thing. It’s a bragging rights league and, to be honest, I don’t have much to brag about. I’ve never finished higher than fourth place, but I have finished fourth probably eight or 10 times. Sandy has won the league twice already. She is a football fan but doesn’t necessarily follow the teams and players that closely. She enjoys watching the games. She is, however, really good with numbers and is able to work player stats to her favor.

I am not a numbers guy, and it shows. Last year, my team, the Masked Avengers, took a commanding lead early in the season and I held first place for about 12 weeks. Then the injury bug bit me. I fell to eighth place and barely made the playoffs. I did recover in time to finish fourth – again!

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about the league is the trash talking. There was a lot of it in the early years, but it’s waned a bit recently. Still, whenever Terry and I go head-to-head, the smack talk gets going. I call it Beak Week because my nickname for Terry in college was Beagle Beak (Snoopy) because of his rather large, protruding proboscis. I won’t tell you what he calls me because, well, it’s my column and I don’t have to!

Nearly every year I accuse him of fixing the league so he can win. I’m happy to report that my accusations are false. He has never won, but he did finish second twice and third twice.

This year we open the season against each other. Yahoo has me favored to win, which is a joke. I managed to draft two players who are suspended and one on injured reserve. I must now decide if I want to keep them on my bench and have them ready in a few weeks when they are available or dump them and pick up lesser players. We do have a transaction limit in the league, so I have to weigh my options carefully.

One of the things I’ve noticed with fantasy football over the decades is how much it’s changed and the distraction it’s become. Most leagues have money on the line and now the gambling industry is asserting a stranglehold on it.

I remember an issue several years ago when I was covering the Sugar Land Skeeters baseball team. They were in an independent league at the time and now they are the Space Cowboys, the Triple-A affiliate of the Houston Astros. I remember that the Skeeters were dominating the Atlantic League but then had a major late-season slump. I asked manager Gary Gaetti what caused the slump. He blamed it on the distraction of fantasy football.

One of the surreal things I really enjoyed during the years I was photographing Houston Texans games was being right there while my players were scoring. Sometimes I faced the dilemma of needing an opposing player to do well for my fantasy team while I quietly rooted against them on the field.

So, here we are again, starting another season. Just like baseball in the spring, hope springs eternal. The past is forgotten and hopes of a championship loom large. Yeah, it’s football season in Texas, the best season of all.

Comic con adventures and frustrations

 

I’ve been attending science fiction and comic conventions since the late 1980s.

I’ve lost count of the number of celebrities that I’ve interacted with over the years but it numbers well into the hundreds. I’ve also lost count of the number of times I’ve seen “Star Trek” actors George Takei and Marina Sirtis in person at various conventions.

Over the years I’ve developed a love-hate relationship with comic cons. The fan in me absolutely loves them. It’s literally a chance to mingle with the stars and hang out with thousands of like-minded, costumed geeks. What I absolutely hate is the cost and the commercialization of the conventions.

It used to be that you could go to a convention for about $10 to $15 for a day. You could attend panel discussions with actors and meet them at their autograph tables where they would sign things for free and pose for pictures. Not anymore. Now it’s all about the almighty dollar. Depending on the level of membership/access you want, it can cost hundreds of dollars to attend a weekend convention, and that’s just to get in the door.

All of the celebrities charge for autographs and photos. Most comic cons now make you purchase autograph and photo tickets ahead of time online, and they ain’t cheap!

I acquired a fairly significant autograph collection in the days before the celebrities started charging. The first and only time I’ve paid for an autograph came in the early 2000s when I spent $15 each for “Star Wars” actors Anthony Daniels (C-3PO) and Kenny Baker (R2-D2).

I still enjoy collecting autographs, but I’m not likely to pay for them. That’s a con game I don’t like to play. I love going to comic cons, mostly to take pictures and sit in on celebrity panels.

One of the most significant moments in my life happened at one of these conventions. It was at the first Star Wars Celebration, held in Denver in 1999. “The Phantom Menace” was about to open and they held a huge Star Wars event featuring many of the new cast members. We were waiting in line to see one of the actors (I forget who it was) when I asked Sandy to marry me.

Moving to the Houston area opened the door for many comic con adventures in the past 17 years. Most of those have been at Comicpalooza, though that show has been a dud for the last several years. Some of the best cons of late have been in San Antonio, and there is one coming up that really has me excited. Spacecon San Antonio will be held Oct. 24-26 at the Freeman Coliseum Expo Halls. Most of the cast of the reimagined “Battlestar Galactica” will be there, along with the likes of Elizabeth Olsen, Billy Dee Williams, Brie Larson, Hailee Steinfeld, Ian McDiarmid, Paul Bettany, Jonathan Frakes, Michael Ironside, and dozens more. And oh my, wouldn’t you know it, even George Takei will be there.

What really has me excited is the “Battlestar Galactica” cast, including Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, Grace Park, Jamie Bamber, James Callis, and Tricia Helfer. Several years ago there was a mini Galactica con at Comicpalooza and I missed it due to a scheduling conflict. This is my chance to make up for it.

Spacecon San Antonio has been under other names in the past, and each one has been huge and chock full of A-list celebrities. Show CEO Bob Wills, owner of The PM Group marketing agency, has routinely pulled out the stops for big name entertainers.

San Antonio will also be the location of Big Texas Comicon, which will be held Oct. 17-19 at the Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center. It will have “Happy Days” actors Henry Winkler, Don Most and Anson Williams, along with notables such as Jason Isaacs, Priscilla Presley, Tori Spelling, and Soleil Moon Frye.

Locally, the College Station Comic Con will be held Sept. 13-14 in Bryan at the Brazos County Expo Complex. Much smaller than its big-city counterparts, this year’s show features voice actors Leah Clark, Macy Anne Johnson, Aaron Campbell, Jack Broadbent and Molly Searcy. Most of them are well known for their voice acting in anime cartoons and video games.

Looking back over the years, the one celebrity that I interacted with the most was the late Peter Mayhew, who is best known for playing Chewbacca in “Star Wars.” He lived in Texas and regularly attended area conventions. He even used one of the photos I took of him for his Facebook profile picture.

One of my more memorable experiences came in 2023 at GalaxyCon Austin when Richard Dreyfuss flipped me off. He was joking around while I was taking his picture. I had just lowered my camera when up came his middle finger. I just missed getting what may have become my most viral photo ever!

Oh well, such is life. Who knows what opportunities await in San Antonio and beyond.